Interview with the buddhist Ashita

Ashita a 34 year old buddhist woman is currently doing her MA at Imperial University. She is a devout Buddhist from South Tailand, a woman passionate about life, and determined to drive herself towards her goals. Her aims are clear and her attempts are presise. Upon meeting this remarkable individual, we got into a discussion about faith and religion. She questioned me, and so I questioned her. This is how the interview went.

Ashita: Did you choose to wear the headscarf yourself? I know some people are forced.

M.Hilli (me): Yes it is a personal choice, I am not forced into it, I believe that it is an act of modesty, and I am fully comfortable with it. Although no one is protected from the evil eyes of an on-looker I believe that a woman covering her private parts and the most attractive features she owns is less likely to be looked at by perverted men than a woman who is revealing all her flesh. Although Hijab in its self is not solely for this purpose, from my personal experience I feel that it protects me in 101 ways. I am currently working in an environment inhabited by Arab men who are sick in the head, and with all the covering I uptake I am still looked at in a sick manner, and that makes me feel uncomfortable and nervous, yet it also relieves me to know that I am not exposed to these malicious creatures.

Ashita: Yeah you do have a valid point and I understand and respect you for it. Do you always dress in this same manner?

M.Hilli: [laughs slightly] No No No.. please do not look at the scruffily way I have dressed today, I am usually more elegant, but this morning I was very tired and so I made no attempt.

Ashita: I would love to see you looking elegant, I cant imagine how that can be achieved with Hijab.

M.Hilli: Why not? Maybe one day.

Ashita: I was wondering, when do you find time to do other stuff if you have to always pray? I mean I dont think I would be able to do that ever.

M.Hilli: Well the truth is we only pray 5 times a day and in 3 intervals. We combine 2 sets of 2 and one which is around dawn is prayed by itself. Its not as hard or as time consuming or even tedious as it may sound or seem, in fact all 5 prayers combined together do not take more than 20 minutes of your whole 24 hours in a day!!

Ashita: In Tailand I always see people praying alot.

M.Hilli: There are Muslims I believe in Tailand who wear Hijab is that true?

Ashita: Yes it is. Mostly in South Tailand where I was born. I infact have Muslim relatives. My maternal grandmother is a Muslim.

M.Hilli: If you dont mind me asking, what religion are you?

Ashita: No not at all, I am a Buddhist believer.

M.Hilli: really??? I am particularly interested in that religion. Give me a brief outline of what you believe.

Ashita: I believe in my own talents sums it up really?

M.Hilli: What about Siddharta the Buddha? Do you really worship him.

Ashita: We pay our respects to him. He protects us. My mother gave me a small statue of Buddha she told me to carry it with me wherever I go. It protects me from danger. I also feel my mothers protection. And I also can protect myself.

----the interview was interrupted after this--------------

Continuing from understanding dependancy on the opposite sex

Ive seen many couples, who when seperated are at great loss, they are unable to function well, although this may be my opinion, I feel that single parents, or couples that have split up are defensive about their position in the situation and always try and appear stronger than they are, I suppose its natural really for them to be like that... but how realistic are the

A healthy relationship is always based on a sufficient amount of give and take, to which each individual person feels satisfied or happy to the extent that allows them to appreciate their life. Many people tend to be very selfish and greedy in their relationships, they always want and want and want more and never give anything in return. A beautiful system of love allows us to want to share to give.. this beautiful system is so unique in its form that couples begin to be liable to change from it. It always takes a person you love, preferably dealing with straight love for the time being... a member of the opposite sex can always show you how to improve because they look at things from a different perspective to someone from your sex.

In addition, a person that you love will always be a person you listen to, and want to take advice from, its only natural for you to be more attentive. Therefore it is at this stage that we can say that we also depend on the opposite sex for our own development.

understanding dependancy on the opposite sex

I have always thought that men and women could live individually in this world without relying on others, and certainly not someone from the opposite gender. I believed the notion of "independant women" and how they managed perfectly without men. Lately I have come to realise that this is not so. Women need to depend on men at times, there always comes a time, when you need a man around, a basic example is if you are a mother who has kids, and your child falls terribly ill, as strong a mother as you may be you will not be able to handle the situation emotionally as well as the father of your child. Women need men to help them along with maintaining their confidence, the little comments we receive from men like "you look amazing" or "that was very thoughtful of you dear" or even "this dish youve cooked is very tasty" all these comments are a boost for our confidence as women, we love appreciation, we love gratitude, I mean who doesnt!!

Some may feel that the comments made above are sexist, or biased if anything, but I personally see that in an attempt to defame the uniqueness within each sex, and the appointed roles for them, people have gone to as far a means as they can just to make any specific roles as suitable for both sexes and that equality comes in that form, which is wrong!!

So far we have only spoken about women depending on men.. well as for the men, they cant escape that quickly from responsibilities... yessss they need us too!! believe it or not! They need a woman in terms of courage and confidence build, they need the soft affection and devotion, the dependancy we have on them, that form of bodily power they wish to posses. While we women are recognised as the main drivers of a relationship, we can say that men are the bodies..

A man needs to work around a caring and loving atmosphere which he helps to build, although love and affection can be achieved from family, it is never the same as the love and affection you get from a spouse because that love and affection is solely for you.

The intimate relationship between a man and a woman, sexually speaking creates a bond between the two, and bridges the gap of desires that the soul has cravings for. The spiritual uproot from such an act can create a strength in itself..

I will continue with this another time, as my eyelids are about to drop off..